darlingwarhorse

Thursday, August 21, 2008

my thought for the month

how do you know you are in a love relationship?

what is the evidence?

(think God)

Monday, July 21, 2008

one of the happy couple

she walked down the aisle to a pre-recorded song

he wrote

and sang

"here she comes....a picture of heaven touching earth"

were the words i remembered

i cried

they beamed

being close to the action

i saw

they giggled

and joy kindof danced while saying her vows

she was so happy jumpy

their songs were so harmonic

a Glory orginal

a familiar worship piece

mixed with a couple of prayers from the bridal party

harp and bowl feel

the ladies wore red

and spontaneous daisies from my mom's backyard

in hair

and the boys wore black converse

and my husband had an army half-cast on

which went nicely

the best man

my partner

was a funny curly haired guy

you gotta love

the special couple ran through

a rosepetal tunnel outside

into a shiny black limo

and caught pictures

just before the

hailstorm in june

we entered the reception to the cupid shuffle

and watched a slide show of matt and joy

wearing the cutest little half-naked outfits

as babies

they really are so much alike

Monday, July 14, 2008

my one post this month :)

first, can anyone tell me why all my side bar stuff is at the bottem?

okay, well, i guess i'm averaging one post/month now, heh...maybe its just a summer thing.......we'll see.....i am writing more than ever now, actually.....in my personal life, day to day things.....things the Lord is teaching me.....and my writing is getting more focused.....i wish this blog would....Lord? what is your idea for this blog?

as you can see from the past two posts now, i am in some kind of blogging transition....wish i had a better understanding of it....

anyway, while i'm here blogging, i'll go ahead and share a few things:

- Israel now writes his name....a really big I and S, a medium R, A, E and then a really small L.....too cute

- Iz started swimming lessons...and he loves them....i can't get over what a big kid he is and what that must make me...:)

- Iz is pretty much potty trained, i won't go into the details b/c it would take up a whole post, but we'll just say he's potty trained, at not a day under 3 1/2 :) somehow i thought i'd feel more accomplished. proud. instead i feel a combination of relief and hesitation. relief like whew, i survived. and hesitation like, is he really potty trained or am i imagining it?

- Eman climbed out of his crib regularly, so we brought in his big boy bed from the garage and rearranged the boys' room. now instead of climbing out of the crib, he climbs out of the big boy bed.

-Eman's language continues to explode. he passionately calls people "buckeyoo" (buckeroo) and the other day during the thunderstorm, he exclaimed over and over "o my gosh. i wuv u reen! i wuv u reen! o my gosh!" he makes me lol more than anyone lately.

-his favorite book right now is a basketball book from the library and tonite he surprised me by opening it, and "reading" a few of the pages correctly!

- levi is off the charts. literally- for his height. he is 28 inches! and 17 lb. 10 oz. he looks and feels (and even acts sometimes!) like a 9 month old! he is also the most interpersonal baby i know. he's constantly trying to tell me something and motioning that he wants things. like food and to be with his brothers. he is 5 months and he's about to crawl any second. he gets up on all 4s and rocks and then launches himself at whatever toy he is eyeing up. i'd say he's ahead of the game.

3 boys continues to be a fun challenge. lots of learning. andy and i spend more evenings than we ever have reflecting on how the boys are doing, judging how we're doing, and praying to make good decisions on tomorrow's set of happennings.

with these 3 boys coming right after another like this, we find ourselves spending the other part of our "free-time" (which seems to be so sparing lately) getting the rest of our lives in order. 3 boys so fast has really rocked our world, but its good b/c its helped us get a little more ordered, make some honest evaluations, and really depend on the Lord. the past few months He's been highlighting getting some things a little more together. finances is the big one. but also jsut taking care of ourselves, eating right, keeping up with the house. quality of life is a good way to say it i guess. there is so much quantity all the time. much more enjoying quality.

in other news, my sister's wedding was awesome and amazing. i could do a few posts on that alone (and maybe i will). joy and matt led their own worship at the service, which was very powerful, and Jesus really came. the receptoin was fun too, with my husband bringing the house down with his karoake skills. my sister had a gorgeous dress and handmade veil and was a beautiful beautiful bride!!! (if anyone has some good pics, please email me!)

we're enjoying summer over here. i'm walking and growing in more freedom. everywhere I turn He is leading me out of fears and into great breakthroughs. He is such a good God! one way i am loving myself right now is remembering His love to me. there are so many testimonies, so many things to be grateful for - His love for me is awesome and i love keeping it in front of me regularly. i feel really loved when I do this. talk about quality of life. :)

there are really so many stories running through my head that i could share, but this post would just be ridiculously long. so i'll leave you with a visual from the other day:

we decided to try to walk from the playground to the library for the 3 year old who had to go potty. my gut knew we needed to stop back at the minivan for the stroller. but i thought, what the heck, lets give it a try. so here's me with a 5 month old strapped to me by snugli in the women's bathroom. holding down a 2 year old who is in potty heaven and wants to stick his hands in all the toilets. and i'm thinking to myself, "if we can just get out of here alive." and then it happens. my stable one. my strong one. the one who is making me feel like we can do this b/c he is going to the potty in the stall all by himself. the three year old breaks down. he hurts his finger in the door somehow and proceeds to SCREAM at the top of his lungs for like 5 minutes. i just sat in the bathroom. with a screaming kid in one arm. a crying struggling kid in the other arm. and a big huge one strapped to my chest. and LAUGHED.

see how i'm growing?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

why do u blog?

here's a recent pic of levi. he is now 41/2 months. amazing. isn't he handsome?

so, why do u blog? i really want to know.

i don't know if i'm just on another blogging hiatus or what.

i don't do it just to record my life/kids' lives. thats part of it, i guess, but i have actually opened up a separate word document for that since january. where i can write snippets for myself and my kids.

i think i started blogging b/c it was a great place to think out loud things i was learning. kindof a write-to-understand process. i used to kindof just share everything i was learning. now, i don't know why, it all just feels too personal. God has just gotten more closer to home here, i guess, and i don't feel like sorting out all the raw details on the internet for everyone to read. but i don't seem to know how to write unless its real and personal. so just haven't really been blogging as much. maybe i'm just too much in-the-midst right now to actually blog. but eventually i'll be able to again. i dunno.

okay well that was clear.

anyway, i do have one thing to write here. maybe to encourage somebody. or maybe just to tell my story. but i've been potty training one 3 and a half year old boy for over a year now. we've tried everything. i think we're almost there. but its been a long frustrating road. and if that doesn't make someone want to quit their job, then there's the mornings you are still wiping the sleep from your eyes and your 3 year old lets you know it must be time to mop the kitchen floor again by dumping an entire quart of OJ on it. or, the next day, your toddler helps you realize its time to clean out the toaster by dumping a cup of mandarin oranges in it. (does anybody have any idea what kind of mess that makes?). well, if you hate messes like me, but deal with them on a daily basis and are working towards loving your life, as is right now, you may need some of these SWEET TENDER WORDS the Lord has recently spoken to me (as i've cried out to Him for HELP in raising my kids at home right now!):

He's said:

- you only have one summer of 2008, with Israel as a preschooler, Emmanuel as a toddler and Levi as a baby. (insert your own names and ages.) ENJOY IT!

- You have always wanted to have kids - I've given you everything you've ever wanted!

- You have lots of fun with your kids

- 3 is the perfect number right now! (insert your own number)

- you are singing, dancing, worshipping, flourishing and moving forward!

- You have it all!

- There is nothing like this (raising these little babies at home, rocking babies, holding toddlers, insert what you will) in the world!

- You are doing a great job building the boat at sea - learning as you go!

- you are learning how good my love is

- you are learning how to love

- you are using your teaching degree!

- your kids are so cute, adorable, funny and fun!

- your kids have awesome destinies

- you enjoy getting to know your kids as your friends

- you have covenant relationship with your kids

- you have a great ministry with your kids

- you love to speak your kids names, and tell their latest testimonies because they are fruit of your labor!

- and your labor is paying off!!!!!!!! you are teaching them well! (whether it feels like it or not)

well, i'm keeping those words before me this summer..........don't know if they help you........but they sure help me.........in the day-to-day......

don't know how much you'll be hearing from me this summer........EVERYTHING is WEDDING right now (my lil sis will be married in a week and a half!!!!!AAAAAAAH!) so i'm exceptionally busy.........but i'm sure i'll be around.......but, seriously, if u are reading this and you are a blogger........why do you blog????

Monday, May 19, 2008

i WAS gonna write a serious post

but our life is just too funny right now.

we take a walk. emmanuel SERIOUSLY stops at every single basketball hoop. (you don't know how many basketball hoops your neighborhood has until your son develops an affinity for them. believe me.). he'll just stand there in front of them and shout "ball" or "hoop" over and over and over. i'll say, "emmanuel, come back here." and with great passion, he shouts, "I-KAY! I VILL!" but he doesn't. which is part-funny, part-annoying. i have to go take his hand and walk him off people's driveways back onto the sidewalk. every. single. time. because he is so enamored. i think we have a birthday idea for him.

and then there is emmanuel the escape-artist. he escapes from any confinement you can think of, anytime anywhere. his latest thing is our backyard fence (which i am oh-so-grateful for, by the way). we now have bungee straps holding the gates closed. but before we figured out the most secure way to put those bungee cords, we had a couple of days of sheer panic. for instance, i would go to change levi. israel would let emmanuel outside. emmanuel would let himself out the gate. i'd find emmanuel playing in the front yard, while a just-passing-by neighbor watched him. i should be grateful that the neighbor was there. except that it was one of those days for me. hair not done, yard a mess, baby half-dressed, and well, the neighbor seemed to have it all together, so you know, it was a humbling moment. kids are great for that. :) and i really am happy he wasn't half way down the street or something.

oh, and a note to self: don't leave toddler with snacks, near to baby. you'd think this would be a given, but apparantly i didn't think of this as i went to the kitchen to grab my own snack. i come back a few seconds later. and there is levi chewing on a raisin. "oh, there's levi chewing on a raisin," i literally thought to myself. then, i was like "WHAT!?" levi is chewing on a raisin!!!??? i still shake my head as i type this. thank you Lord that my little giggling 3 month old didn't try to SWALLOW that raisin! "in mouf. in mouf" emmanuel tells me. at least he was sharing....?!

you know, God's angels are constantly at work. and i say this totally seriously. GOD majorly watches out for me and my children. and i KNOW it. thank you, Lord, I praise you for this. I am so grateful.

favorites from israel:

"i am the tomato of God's eye."

"when i was a little boy, i used to be in your belly. now that i'm so big, i'm out. isn't that amazing?"

"i think i'll help myself to some cucumbers."

"we really need a pet." me: we already have a fish. iz:"i want something i can PET......like a turtle."

Emmanuel takes the phone from me after i hang up with somebody. and israel says, "Eman can have a turn now, mom. you guys can share."

Emmanuel is given a grape while sitting in his high chair, and he says, "ball." Israel, all teacher-like, says, "yes, emmanuel, it is a ball that you can eat."

Israel is telling me about death (after a talk with daddy). "mom, i don't die. just my parts die." then after some thought...."but i want my hands.....to pick things up."

same death conversation picks up the next day. "mom, do you want to die?" me: "Ummm" (trying to think of wise answer). son supplies it: "not today?" right, not today.

and then there's emmanuel again. all day. every day. at any random time. whether applicable or not. "NO VAY!! NO VAY!!!" it was funny the first 300 times. and, well, who am i kidding, its still funny.

oh ya, and does anybody have BARNYARD DANCE by Sandra Boynton? It is hilarious. i absolutely love reading it, no matter how many times its been.

lastly, my husband and i were entering target the other evening, with our small team. and a girl getting into her car hollers out, "you look just like me! i did the same thing. 3 boys in 3 years. believe me, you'll make it." she's sucking on her cigeratte the whole time she's talking. andy and i laughed and thanked her. and then joked later, "all we need to do to 'make it' is to pick up an addiction!" :) then today, i was thinking of that again and the Holy Spirit hit me. yeah, an addiction.

my kids are awesome and amazing. there is nothing i'd rather do right now then be home with my kids. having built that fence, i'll say its tough some days. i don't think i knew quite what i was in for, and i have no choice but to build the ship at sea. i can't take 6 months off and learn how to do it perfect, i just have to pray and seek and learn as i go. so on days where my sheer excitement to be a mom doesn't get me through, sometimes there are other addictions. little ones, but still somethign i'll try to run to for quick relief. chocolate or email are two of mine. tell me i'm not the only one. :)

BUT i'm getting better at just letting go and letting Him love me. throughout the day. amidst the stuff. like a good friend said recently, "it would be great if the enemy attacked us when we were sitting quietly at our kitchen table with our bible. but unfortunately that is not when he attacks!" so to overthrow those attacks of being overwhelmed or feeling inadequate or whatever. i must remember that i have Him! the Spirit of the Living Christ inside me!! He's in my heart all the time. His Word. His Spirit. Him. and He is becoming my addiction. i often feel "aaaaaaah! i neeeeeeed Him! can't do anything, next step, nothing, without Him!!! must have Him now!"

sweet addiction. can anyone relate? :) thank YOU that you are an addiction, Lord. the more i have of you, the more i want you. the more you give me yourself, the more I crave you. you are not a small momentary fill. you are not a little teacup full on sunday morning. you are a rushing river and you have it all. the way i relax is you. the way i get pumped up is you. the way i order my calender is you. the way i plan a bachelorette party is you. the way i let go of old ways is you. and the way i enter new ways of life is you. thanks God.

okay that last paragraph was really the whole point of the post i think. in writing classes, i learned, that you usually write a whole paper. and then keep the end. the very end is usually all thats good and then you go from there. to actually start writing. and thats what happenned here. but i'll keep it all b/c i still enjoy the journey of writing as much as the final outcome.

o yeah, and incase you thought i was done with this post.

one more thing. this is one of my favorite pictures right now. i have it as my wallpaper. my grandmother recently came home from FL and was able to meet our newest addition. grandma raised 4 close-in-age boys of her own. she says things to me like, "don't work too hard, kid." and for some reason that makes me feel all warm and valued inside. i guess its because i know she has a firsthand appreciation. i also like this picture because my grandma is 84. and still so beautiful.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

per Gina's request

okay, this was forever ago, but i still wanted to collect some of the little ideas i've written on post-it notes and stuck in my daytimer - and write them in one space (here). these are odds and ends to try during lulls in the day, especially if stuck inside on rainy days (we've done all of these and prob. will continue to!):

1) get out masking tape (its 50 cents at marcs) and do a million things with it. once we made a "victory" game. we put pieces of masking tape all over the floor. and jumped from tape to tape shouting something victorious. "i'm a winner! i am special!" etc. another time we practiced letters with it. see above.

2) if i am sitting there nursing, i can call out instructions to the other kids. "try walking backwards! hop on one foot! other foot! can you walk like a bear (or a million other animals)" etc.

3)have a carwash. set them up with a little bowl of water and all the cars. and a towel. in a room that can get wet.

4)have a picnic to spice up lunch. cookie cutter shaped sandwhiches do wonders. my kids still ask for green eggs from that one time i made it special (which means they are asking for spinach)! eat at the coffe table, or the picnic table or in the little tent.

5)all dance. we do this all the time. of course i'm a dancer. but you can spice it up by turning off the lights and getting out flashlights.

6)"treasure hunt". basically hide something. and they look for it. like huckle buckle beanstalk.

7)make cards for people. we love to do this. simply need paper and some medium. on a floor that can get messy. (the biggest obstacle to overcome in starting all projects is that we ARE gonna get messy. because i have a 3 year old and a 22 month old. so i just have to remind myself that it will be okay and then we do it.). and something i just recently started doing which makes for good fun. ask them what they want to say in the card.

8)we did this for weeks straight. tinkertoys. with marshmallows and pretzels. of course you do this at snacktime.

9)of course prayer and worship times together. try new things. like dancing with scarves. or any kind of material. "building a throne" with blanket and a chair. shouting. getting crazy with worship yourself helps the kids be free. and some days their freeness helps us. it goes both ways. try asking God new things. the kids come up with good ones. my favorite thing that israel asks God, "Lord, we want to see you. we want to see you , Lord!" yes, we do.

10)let the kids watch videos of themselves on the computer. we have a blast doing this.

11) "goin on a bear hunt" if you have the book its fun b/c the kids know the rhyme. we can't go over it. we can't go under it. oh no! we've got to go through it. and we "go through" anything we can imagine. whether in the house or outside.

12) worship parade. with instruments. song. it helps if there is a "circle" in your house that you can travel around. or you can make one. sometimes we just go nuts, singing and shouting. okay, i already said that in number 9. can you tell that I need these crazy worship times?

well, thats all for now. we all want to do fun things with our kids. we want to be fun moms and just lose ourselves in imagination each day. the reality is that we get tired of changing diapers and doing chores and we don't feel like doing anything. if anybody else is like me. :) we need help. i suppose practical little ideas like these (and the ones gina put on her blog) are helpful. the most helpful thing for me is just closing my eyes, crying out to Him amidst whatever spitty, poopy, screaming trial we are facing, and saying, "HELP, Jesus." and KNOWING without a shadow of a doubt, He heard and He is sending heavenly help. because He cares about these 3 little forerunners i'm raising. and He cares about me. and so i look to see what He's gonna do. and what He's gonna speak. and i encourage myself during these long days with 3 little ones. i give myself courage. i try to enjoy the specialness and uniqueness and shortness of these moments. and when i can't, i just keep running back to him. HELP. and we go from there.

any ways you encourage yourself during the day, moms?

i'd love to hear it........

or any other ideas you have or things you've tried to help through long days.....let me know what u do in the comments........

Thursday, May 08, 2008

revival

http://www.god.tv/

andy and i had a BLAST watching this last nite.

God is pouring out incredible healings all over the place, especially in Lakeland, Florida right now.

God, bless and uphold your friend Todd Bentley!!!

be warned. its awesome.